Devotions

Dear Church,

In the beginning of my spiritual journey, I began my devotions. This observance included daily time to read my bible, write in a devotion journal, and pray. Devotions were constant conversation in my youth group, at the family dinner table, and in my developing mind.

Experimenting with christian journals and one-year bible plans ruled my morning agenda. My devotion was to the Devotions. I believed that faithful adherence to this practice would produce a godly christian character. After decades of these practices, I quietly quit them. I didn’t tell anyone or ask anyone’s permission. I was done. For many seasons, I believed God had abandoned me because I could not pray long diatribes about my sins anymore. Instead, I devoted time to walking state park trails kicking around my spiritual shame.

I found relief in the bird song, the cold wind, and the changing flora and fauna. “Could God really leave me because I was done re-reading the same bible passages? Would God leave me because I abandoned my childhood beliefs about sin and hell?” Since no answers were revealed, I just kept walking.

One of those days, I felt the wind on a lonely trail, and let it breathe through me. Like most mysterious experiences, I have no facts to back up what happened in a moment. But, it was as if the universe heard all my cries and prayers and silence and fears, reversed them and blew loving devotion back through me. There was no shame, demands, or curses. No fire or blindness or flaming angels with swords. Just a holy breath that filled me.

Devotion never left me, it was around me the whole time capturing my prayers of loss and shame.  

Used as a tool to root us in our faith, christian devotions are ritualistic. They ebb and flow with the growth of our spirit, abilities, and needs. As our journey winds through the rough-hewn path, over step crags, gentle brooks, and dry deserts, our spiritual needs change. Access to rest, food, friendship, water, or breath become immediate. Our once lofty prayers become simple.

Perhaps you find yourself renewed in your devotion practices of prayer, laughter, scripture reading, singing, dancing, journaling, or meditation. May you see divine love and loyalty in every part of your spiritual practices. And if you find yourself shuffling down the lonely path,

May the God of the Wind on the Lonely Trail breathe through you today.

Nikki Sauter